Unhealthy Beginnings: An Indigenous Lived Experience

Nov 29

By Patricia Kodaseet Whynot | Nov. 28, 2023

The History Of Thanksgiving

The crisp Fall winds whisk the vibrant tumbling leaves into their distinguishing dance, signaling another holiday season is upon us. Soon, millions of North American people will embody this spirit of celebration and congregate, basking in the glow of appreciation for their blessings and prosperity on the revered day known as Thanksgiving. The history of the day itself can be traced back first to Plymouth and finally to Roosevelt when in 1941, U.S. Congress formally established the fourth Thursday in November as the “Thanksgiving Day” national holiday (Birdsall, 2021). Each year, the President proclaims the righteousness of this day in recognition of national kinship, generosity, and historical progress (Birdsall, 2021). For masses of others, however, this fourth day in November holds far less enchanting appeal.

The Native American Perspective

Holidays, especially Thanksgiving, serve as an oddly perfect vignette for the parallel existence of the racial majority’s experience versus the existence of the original inhabitants of North America known as the Indigenous, First Peoples, or Native Americans. It is presumed that all/most North Americans practice Thanksgiving with the same glee and vigor as those on the commercials. For some Natives, however, it is far more complicated. Growing up in a Native home in Oklahoma, I recall my maternal grandma (Full-Arapaho Nation) telling us about the truth behind the “pilgrims and Indians making peace and feasting together”. While our family barely scraped up money to gather and eat together most holidays, we did not heap praise upon elusive bounty, glory, or national pride. Instead, we lowered our heads solemnly and spoke words of appreciation to God/The Great Spirit for sheer survival and for just making it this far.

As a child, this dichotomous existence was intensely confusing but as an informed adult member of the Cheyenne & Arapaho (C&A) and Kiowa Nations, it all makes sense now. While Natives are far from a monolith, for many Natives like me, Thanksgiving represents a reminder of historical atrocities and genocide that not only nearly eliminated us but also currently impact our People in unique and exceedingly harmful ways (Kurtis & Yellow Bird, 2010). As a licensed trauma counselor providing clinical mental health services, my professional practice is both evidence-based and culturally informed, effectuating an acute awareness of the potential connection between a client’s current suffering to their early beginnings and their Adverse Childhood Experiences Score or ACES (Felitti et al., 2019).

Understanding Adverse Childhood Experiences

Adverse Childhood Experiences Score (ACES) was a biproduct of the 1980s research by Dr. Vincent Felitti where he originally investigated populations of obese subjects (Felitti et al., 2019). Though not the initial theoretical focus of the study, Dr. Felitti and his team’s groundbreaking research affirmed a scientific, evidence-based correlation between a person’s negative health outcomes or “health risk behavior” as an adult (obesity) with their childhood exposure to physical/sexual/emotional abuse/neglect and/or dysfunctional experiences (2019). The ACES questionnaire assesses a person’s experience as a child (aged 0-17) across 10 categories of abuse/dysfunction/risk. A person’s ACE score is determined by checking the box if they experienced/exposed to that behavior before age 18 (Centers for Disease Control, 2023). The subject’s ACE is tallied and can be correlated to risk factors/outcomes including high incidence of chronic disease (heart, cancer, diabetes, and/or obesity), early death, increased suicidality, poverty, unemployment, substance abuse/addiction, and mental disorders/depression depending on their score (CDC, 2023). In short, the higher the ACE score, the higher the likelihood for a worse outcome as an adult.

The CDC reports that ACES are somewhat common with more than half the adult population experiencing at least one ACE (CDC, 2023). Native Americans’ ACE scores, however, tend to trend much higher than all other groups (CDC, 2019). When assessing whether a child aged 0-17 has experienced physical/emotional/verbal/sexual abuse, lacked protection/wore dirty clothes/food insecure, lived with a mentally ill person, lost a parent to divorce/death/abandonment, lived with a substance abuser, witnessed domestic violence, lived with someone in jail/prison, was threatened/unsafe, or felt unloved/not special, the Native/Indigenous populations score was 4 or more (CDC, 2019).

Why would the Native/Indigenous populations experience the highest ACE scores? Part of this answer lies in the unique history of the Native American lived experience. As the first inhabitants of what is now North America, Natives endured not only genocide but also forced relocation (reservations), and an oft ignored U.S. government policy mandating the removal of Native children who were then institutionalized in boarding schools across the country (Cromer et al., 2018). My own grandmother was an unfortunate victim and survivor of that dark era in U.S. history known as the Indian boarding schools years. When my grandmother was taken away from her parents and sent to boarding school, her hair was cut and Native ways were forbidden. My grandmother suffered unspeakable trauma and abuse at the hands of strangers. She met her husband there. Having two traumatized children ensured an intergenerational transmission of abuses, addictions, poverty, and hopelessness. My grandmother worked tirelessly to protect her own children from struggling, but the trauma was too great. My own mother relinquished our care to my grandma because she lacked any form of healthy coping.

My Personal Experience

My home life was saturated with suffering, neglect, and shame. With my stoic grandma working to provide for her grandkids, we, too, were left unprotected and exposed to harmful, abusive adults who were not always related to us. Compounding the abuse and trauma, each of my childhood memories were framed by poverty and isolation. The Hulu series Reservation Dogs achieved representation of those parts of my childhood in the most authentic ways (Harjo & Waititi, 2021). I recall many nights with no dinner and being so thankful for the times grandma had enough scraps to make us skillet or fry bread at least. When one is consistently food insecure and trapped in cycles of abuse/trauma, where lies the space for discussions of healthy emotions or feelings? My ancestors had survived unspeakable horrors, what right did I have to vocalize my struggle? The ethos was on repeat: “you need to be grateful, someone else always has it worse off, you better not cry or I’ll give you something to cry about”.

Life on the outside of that dilapidated house was no better. I experienced harsh racism about my Native heritage as my Caucasian peers tugged on the Native boys’ long black braids and patted their mouths as they howled. I had encounters with police far too early and far too terrifying. On one of many occasions, the police pulled over my uncle as he drove us home from swimming at the lake (free activity). My uncle complied, but the policeman grabbed him by his hair and tore him out of the van and stepped on him as he lay helpless on the ground facedown. I still recall the full-body shaking that I can still imagine today in my mind’s eye.

Healing is Possible

Today, as a mental health professional, I recognize the harm that I not only suffered but also survived. I have done my work on my own trauma and I continue to do so. Instead of impeding me though, I truly believe that my experiences as a Native woman has enhanced my abilities to connect with my clients. In my experience, a survivor of trauma can sniff out a fellow survivor. I wish I could report that as a grown adult I have had no experience with racism but those threads are deeply sewn in this country. My skills in resiliency and healthy coping are well-worn to be sure. And because I refuse to give up or give in, I shift my resources to growing ally-ship among us. Steadfastly, my faith and efforts lie in the human spirit’s abilities for growing and healing. And more than that, I firmly champion the survivor’s right to experience those things. If you are someone who resonates with the desire to begin processing, growing, and healing your trauma, I would encourage you to seek out a professional therapist with a specialty in trauma work. If you cannot access those resources, there are many books that you can check out from your library that can help your body and brain to learn safety and health again. There are also numerous techniques available online. But it requires willingness then commitment.

One example: A simple daily practice of deep, relaxation-breathing can begin calming the trauma center in the brain. The technique is commonly referred to as box breathing and works with a 4-second belly inhalation of breath, holding that breath for 4-seconds, exhaling from the belly for 4-seconds, and then holding after the exhale for 4-seconds. Find a box/square/rectangle and visually trace this 4-sided (box) during the 4-count breathing. This allows for a cascade of physiological/neurobiological processes to occur that can initiate calming of an anxiety response when practiced consistently during a calm period.

As a trauma survivor with an especially high ACE score, I humbly offer validation of your pain and struggle. As a professional in the mental healthcare field, I assure you that if and when you are ready, help is there in a variety of forms. Below you will find trustworthy resources to help you on your journey to well-being and renewed overall health. Hohóu! (Thank you!)